Appendix:English malapropisms

Richard Sheridan, The Rivals (1775)

 * geography → geometry, contiguous → contagious
 * M RS. M ALAPROP : I would have her instructed in geometry, that she might know something of the contagious countries. — Act I, Sc.II


 * pinnacle → pineapple
 * M RS. M ALAPROP : He is the very pine-apple of politeness! — Act III, Sc. III


 * apprehend → reprehend, vernacular → oracular, arrangement → derangement, epithets → epitaphs
 * M RS. M ALAPROP : If I reprehend any thing in this world, it is the use of my oracular tongue, and a nice derangement of epitaphs! — Act III, Sc.III


 * alligator → allegory
 * M RS. M ALAPROP : He's as headstrong as an allegory on the banks of the Nile. Act III, Sc. III

Romeo and Juliet (1597)

 * invite → indite
 * B EN : She will indite him to some supper. Act II, Sc. IV

A Midsummer Night's Dream (1596)

 * effect → defect
 * B OTTOM : ...and he himself must speak through, saying thus, or to the same defect... Act III, Sc. I

Other

 * aspersions → asparagus
 * I don’t want you casting asparagus on my friend.


 * balkanize → vulcanize
 * However, they delineate - quotas, I think, vulcanize society. — George W. Bush


 * cul de sac → culture sack
 * She lives in the culture sack at the end of North Street.


 * defamation → definition
 * I’m suing you for definition of character!


 * figment → pigment
 * It was just a pigment of her imagination.


 * for all intents and purposes → for all intensive purposes
 * For all intensive purposes, it's a very common colloquial intensifier and the meaning is similar; it fits better in the American version of the phrase. — Wiktionary


 * hardpan → deadpan
 * The heat and arid conditions had converted his yard into deadpan.


 * lintel → lentil
 * That’s an enormous lentil above your fireplace!


 * resent → resemble
 * I resemble that remark! — Curly Howard of the Three Stooges


 * Tomahawk cruise missile → Tom Cruise missile
 * They attacked with one of the Tom Cruise missiles.


 * unabridged dictionary → under a bridge with Dick and Harry — Spook of Top Cat in "Farewell, Mr. Dibble" (1962)
 * S POOK : ...but this book is so far out, I got hooked! What a crazy, mixed-up story!
 * C HOO -C HOO : What was it about, Spook?
 * S POOK : Well, it starts out about an aardvark, and ends up with everybody playing the xylophone.
 * T OP C AT : What's it called?
 * S POOK : “Under a Bridge with Dick and Harry”.
 * T OP C AT : "Under a Bridge with Dick and Harry"? Let me see that...[reads cover]..that's " Unabridged Dictionary "! What's the matter with you? It's nothing but words!


 * for what it's worth → for water's worth
 * For water's worth, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.


 * catalytic converter → Cadillac converter