Citations:darkest timeline

Noun: "(Internet slang, humorous) the circumstances of the present moment in history, viewed as bleak, frightening, ridiculous, or the worst of all possibilities"

 * 2014, Todd Foster, "The darkest timeline...", Tough Times, Holiday Issue 2014, page 5:
 * The food of this darkest timeline is so abundant in some places it is thrown away as trash, and so scarce in others that it is killed for.
 * 2015, Stefan Mohamed, Bitter Sixten, page 146:
 * 'Yeah, I know. Make the most of it. It's Pedigree Chum for you from now on.'
 * 'This truly is the darkest timeline.'
 * 2016, Mandy Marciniak, "President Trump? Really?", The Frontenac Gazette (Frontenac, ON), 17 November 2016, page 11:
 * I still can't believe that there is a President Trump and this really does feel like the darkest timeline, but there is nothing that can be done.
 * 2016, Jordan Michelman, "Drop Me, Please", Willamette Week, 7 December 2016, page 42:
 * Seasoned stoners need not apply, but for erstwhile day trippers and the cannabis curious—and really, for any of the jittered among us in today's darkest timeline—it's a small comfort to think that reason and sanity might be only a drop away.
 * 2016, Aleisha Hendry, "Taking the time for a positivity parade", Alaska Highway News, 15 December 2016, page A6:
 * There are are days when it feels like the universe has fallen into The Darkest Timeline.
 * 2017, Ryan Graudin, Invictus, page 282:
 * “Marin’s headmaster in this universe?” Far spluttered. “What is this? The darkest timeline?”
 * 2017, Bob Schieffer, Overload: Finding the Truth in Today's Deluge of News, page 184:
 * “My wife says that David @Fahrenthold is a time traveler from the future trying to carefully fix the darkest timeline. I believe her,” wrote James Church, a professor at Austin Peay State University.
 * 2017, "The Ubyssey's Esteemed Sports Panel", The Ubyssey (University of British Columbia), 28 February 2017, page 11:
 * In the darkest timeline, when you're not participating in this noble profession we all know as journalism, what sport would you play?
 * 2017, Ashley Dryburgh, "'How much we now stand to lose'", Vue Weekly, 9 March 2017 - 15 March 2017, page 3:
 * Sadly, we somehow ended up in the darkest timeline, something most reviewers were quick to note.
 * 2019, Jordan Levy, "Parodying people for profit: When brands act like one of us", The Daily Targum (Rutgers University), 19 February 2019, page 8:
 * You know we're in the darkest timeline when there are multimillion-dollar corporations roleplaying as people working through a depressive episode.
 * 2019, Jessica Bryce Young, in "Selections", Orlando Weekly, 13 March 2019 - 19 March 2019, page 43:
 * Living as we all do now in The Darkest Timeline™, it's tough to come up with a plot that exceeds the implausibility and dystopia of reality.
 * 2019, Hannah Jane Cohen, "Well, You Asked: Let’s Rant About Meat!", Reykjavík Grapevine, 7 June 2019 - 20 June 2019, page 54:
 * Well, we never thought we’d be saying this, but you should check out Logan Paul’s mockumentary, “FLAT EARTH: To The Edge And Back.” It’s a satirical take on the issue, and proves that, apparently, Logan Paul, the guy who filmed a dead body, is more reasonable than flat earthers. We truly do live in the darkest timeline.
 * 2019, "West Writers Forum", Melbourne Writers Festival 2019 programme, page 37:
 * Are we stuck in the darkest timeline, or is there hope for humanity yet?
 * 2019, Raheem F. Hosseini, "Berniemanie 2.0", Sacramento News & Review, 22 August 2019, page 11:
 * Four years after he almost wrested the Democratic presidential nomination from Hillary Clinton and –who knows?–potentially averted the darkest timeline, Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders is again trying to ride his populist platform of people over corporations to the White House.
 * 2019, "Dr Mario World", Edge Gaming, October 2019, page 120:
 * Here is proof, if you still needed it, that we are living in the darkest timeline. The year is 2009, and Nintendo has cloned Candy Crush Saga.
 * 2019, Katie Goh, "Gen Z on growing up during the climate crisis", The Skinny, December 2019, page 50:
 * The last few years, it's felt like we've gone through the looking glass and are living in some kind of darkest timeline, something that we're only just beginning to recognise we created for ourselves.
 * 2020, Jason Mariano, "Suspended animation", The Guidon (Ateneo de Manila University, Quezon City, Philippines), March/April 2020, page 2:
 * Today's reality can easily feel like The Darkest Timeline.
 * 2020, Crix Lee, "Infused Film Review: 4/20 The Movie", Edibles Magazine, Issue 63 (April 2020), page 27:
 * 4/20 usually finds me hanging out with my most loved and trusted and I can tell you this: I have had many great adventures and said some of the dumbest things (like asking “How many eighths are in an ounce”), but as our darkest timeline finds the entire world in quarantine, it’s going to be more of a “stay home and ‘flatten the curve’ by getting high and watching something lighthearted and fun,” kind of celebration.
 * 2020, Jessica Armbruster, "Wolf King?", April 29 2020 - 5 May 2020, page 13:
 * In an alternate universe, we’re celebrating May Day this weekend. But here, in the darkest timeline, we’re arguing about whether or not to reopen tattoo shops and digging up details of the time that Joe Exotic bought wolves from Minnesota.
 * 2020, Princess McDowell, in "'I'm Not OK. We're All Not OK.", Chicago Reader, 4 June 2020, page 11:
 * I'm coping with our current darkest timeline by researching absolutely everything tiny homes.
 * 2020, Chris Farnsworth, quoted in "Talk It Out: The Benders Band", Seven Days, 29 July 2020 - 5 August 2020, page 42:
 * I think the records will be a treat. For me, it's more like another curious relic of the darkest timeline we're all hanging out in.
 * 2021, Amanda Nottage, "Hello...", Creative Head, February 2021, page 14:
 * Yes, it might seem that we are currently living through the to support you every step of the darkest timeline, but it stirs my soul to see how circumstances have galvanised so many proactively to fight for the future of this fabulous industry...and gain ground.
 * 2021, Jared Rasic, "May the Source Be With You", Source Weekly, 9 September 2021, page 23:
 * OK, so maybe we've taken a few years' long detour into the darkest timeline, but it's not like Joe Rogan is out there telling people about the medical benefits of horse de-wormer.
 * 2022, Jared Resic, "Scumbags, Slashers and Shakespeare", Source Weekly, 20 January 2022, page 33:
 * More proof that we're now living our best lives in the darkest timeline, Simon Rex AKA terrible rapper Dirt Nasty (who has played in Bend with Mickey Avalon) might get nominated for the Best Actor Oscar later this year.
 * 2022, Connor Shin, "Evelyn's Elevates The American Brunch Experience", The Gadfly (St. John's College, Annapolis, MD), 13 May 2022, page 28:
 * Truly, we live in the darkest timeline. Humanity is still stuck with a pandemic that can't seem to go away, societal tensions are flaring up in virtually every country, a potential world war is brewing on the horizon, and the Naval Academy has inexplicably claimed the Annapolis Cup for the only the eighth time in their entire history.
 * 2022, Jack Evans, album review, The Courier (Newcastle University), 7 November 2022, page page 22"
 * Three years on from the release of Love Keeps Kicking, Pity-Me indie punks Martha are back with their fourth album, Please Don't Take Me Back, a much-needed party after the “darkest timeline” of late.
 * 2022, Ben Buchalter, "Hallmark Movies: Cringe", Inkings (Staples High School, Westport, CT), December 2022, page 13:
 * Some people say that Hallmark Christmas movies are a scourge unto mankind, bastions of sin and greed. Others say that their existence proves that we live in the darkest timeline.
 * 2023, James Hattersley, concert review, NARC, February 2023, page 47:
 * Surely, this is proof that we can't possibly be living in the darkest timeline, as the band most certainly brought their delightful disco to to fans old and new on a miserable Thursday night.