Thesaurus talk:masturbate

Various
in the main wikipedia article on masturbation, there is an anecdote about how the surgeon general of the US got fired for saying that children should be told in school that masturbation was safe and normal, which lead to the humorous new phrase for masturbation, "firing the surgeon general."

I'd add it myself, but I can't seem to figure out how to edit the page. Someone more skilled than myself please do it.

i can't find the edit button either. i would also like to add "hand party" from borat. Another one because i can't find the button, wanksterbate/bation, not wangsterbate. Bashing off and Having a bash should be added "Pwn the noob" has absolutely NOTHING to do with masturbation. I can't believe how stupid you must be to put that in there, whoever did.

playing the pink oboe. teasing the purple headed gristle thistle

"spanking the skunk guts" is a good one

"shake hands with beef" is another one. "yanking the crank"

Don't forget "Jerkin' the gerkin".

For female masturbation: "playing clitty-pool"

I'm surprised "Fappping" isn't on the list.

There is also "Having alone-time/me-time"

"Fapping" really does need to be on this list, thats probably the most commonly used one on message boards now.

There is also "Punching The Clown" and "Drop The Kids At The Waterpark" for those in the shower.

Also "cracking one out" or "crack one/ crack one out"

"Mostly vulgar, taboo"
Mostly made up on the spot, more likely. Many of them just seem to be school kids finding an excuse to name a classmate for a laugh. Do you have any editorial standards or fact-checking at all here? Can I just put a few in with names of people I know - "Rubbing the Rosy", "Tossing my Tony"? Will they do? --82.112.135.142 20:22, 10 November 2007 (UTC)

Why is "Beat off" listed as primarily a UK term? It is certainly one of the commonest slang terms for masturbation in the States - probably number three after "Jerk/jack off". "Pocket pool" is also quite common in the U.S. Lastly, why is "skeet" said to be most common in Canada when, according to my personal experience and Wiktionary itself (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/skeet), skeet meaning "masturbate" came from black America

Where the hell is the edit button for this page? I really REALLY think that autofellatio shouldn't be down there as a straight synonym for masturbation. I don't think that it's most people's idea of masturbation, which could lead to embarrassment if you were young and thought that was what most people were doing.

What? No "jill-off?"
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jill-off

Cork slang
Additional popular terms for the act of fondling ones genitals: 'tugging your todger' 'choking the bishop' 'grooming the parrot' "breaking my neck" (british)

Ross O'Carrol Kelly (south side slang??)
Allied Irish Bank, Whelding the sheets,

Double-click
Just wanted to add in there "Double-click the mouse" for women.

box the bald headed champ
fapp have a session Climbing the greased pole Pump one out Spit up Download

Fap.
Should be added. It's the ubiquitous, international term used by English-speaking hax0rs and other areas of Internets culture.

Beat off
"Beat off" is NOT just a UK term.

Self Abuse, Self Pollution
These moralistic terms are probably more relevant to an encyclopedic article than the countless schoolyard-invented terms with which we could fill pages. 119.236.1.6 04:14, 26 September 2010 (UTC)
 * This is a dictionary, not an encyclopaedia, but I’ve added these terms just now as you’re right to say they should be here. Overlordnat1 (talk) 07:39, 30 August 2022 (UTC)

fap and frig
I suggest adding fap and frig to the page. Both have Wiktionary entries, so I think they're notable enough. --PaparazziPulse 03:04, 10 December 2010 (UTC)

This page needs some editing.
It's sexist and that is terrible. All the synonyms for masturbation with female anatomy, are under "hyponyms". Female masturbation is STILL masturbation, as the word means to stimulate oneself sexually, usually with one's hands. It's not a hyponym, it's a synonym! Please change it, so it's more inclusive and correct. 23dragons (talk) 23:05, 19 January 2014 (UTC)