User:Mr0t

Hello.

I am a junkie but clean; an atheist yet Jewish; I am a straight male and a gay genderqueer; deeply bipolar, yet more sane than most; a bundle of contradictions, I was a prodigiously intelligent child, but unfortunately, I simply got my smarts early -- I scored the same roughly on IQ tests taken at 7, 10, 13 (if you subtract the "youth bonus" adjustment). Unfortunately, my brain took quite a beating during my years of hallucinogen experimentation -- particularly abuse of ketamine and dextromethorphan -- plus the detrimental effects of lithium, lamotrigine, klonopin, and (to a much lesser extent) THC prevent me from recovering my pre-medication mind. It's frustrating enough to make one suicidal -- I am 5 credits away from graduating, but because I've tried 3 times and gotten F, F, and then a tantalizing but insufficient-for-passing D, I know I can't do it. So tens of thousands of dollars of my parents' money, and then later *and still* my own.. paying to fucking fail a class..

Widowed (widowered?) at the age of 23, I live day by day, taking pleasure in scratching each day off the calendar, as I made a vow that as soon as the people who would be most traumatized by my death are themselves dead, were I to still desire death at that point, I would take it. My vow, however, precluded anything from happening before my 30th birthday, even if everyone who I knew died, I'd still have to wait till then. Ironically, the very reason that I don't simply kill myself is that my wife killed herself and subsequently taught me just how much suicide hurts those who are left alive.

Why am I wasting my time and yours? Guh. I just wanted to put something short and witty here, and now look at it. Atrocious.

Well. If you want to discuss my contributions or if you have a bone to pick with my edits of your stuff, feel free to leave it on my talk page.

And that, as they say, is that. Mort the Gangster Monkey (alternatively, &quot;mr0t teh gngstrMNKY&quot;) 15:35, 16 December 2009 (UTC)