User talk:--Stranger/safeplace

safeplace

intro
We all know where arguments happen, where anger is expressed. Is one word, ipso facto, worse than another? Similarly, are not all emotions equal? Yet, there was no place to cry on Wiktionary. I created this as a safe place to cry - because that's what I needed. Maybe someday I'll make this public, because what I think I really need is just some encouragement. It takes all kinds. And some days more than others I am a nervous wreck. I worry a lot. I worry about making mistakes and having other people yell at me. In this safeplace, yelling isn't allowed. That's why I created it. So that I could have someplace to come, to express myself when I felt the need, and be assured that no one would yell.

yesterday
Reported a vandal. I blow things out of proportion, but s/he made a threat toward me. I don't usually take things so hard, but this one somehow managed to slip through. I got scared. I worked myself into a frenzy and even C's words didn't calm me as much as I would have liked. I just wanted someone to say that everything would be okay. That's what this safeplace is for. Just to provide reassurance. Or a place to come and lick wounds have a bar fight. Just for blanket non-judgmental support.

25 Ag 05
Renamed myself and my pages. Culmination of fear from yesterday. And I was thinking about it anyway. Alas no one can e-mail me now. If someone is reading this and does want to e-mail me, they can ask Connel for it - and Connel, you are authorized to give it.

I have been wondering if I should volunteer to clean up the beer parlour. I hesistate because I'm "just" a newbie. This is something else that safeplace would be good for. To encourage people who are less bold than others. I think Semper made a good point once: all mistakes are fixable. It would be nice to have some encouragement.

Another thing safeplace is good for. Just writing feelings down is good. Even if no one reads them, it's good to express your own self-doubt. Keeping feelings bottled up isn't good. The problem is, I'm realizing, especially with C, is that I have been taking up a LOT of his time. And I think he has been doing a lot of hand-holding. I try to thank him. But anyway - the problem is that I'm verbose. I worry that people will misunderstand me (and therefore yell at me) so I have to be sure I explain myself thoroughly - well, I feel I have to explain myself thoroughly. But that burdens people into reading a lot. Having safeplace - it's okay to write a lot in this place. You're not a burden to anyone.

"But Wiktionary isn't a counseling session," I hear you say, "it's a dictionary." But it's also a community. Fights happen in the beer parlour; laughter happens on user talk pages. What about this other emotion? Different people have different needs. Perhaps some need to argue. I don't know. Safeplace is just an idea. Perhaps crazy. That's why it's just on my user page at the moment. I believe I can do whatever I want on my userpages. Again, it takes all kinds of people - some are bolder at making changes and discussing things in public than others. Some people need some extra support, some extra encouragement to share their good ideas with the community in the beer parlour. It would be nice to know that I have some support in safeplace before stepping foot in a place that has been known for fights in the past. I generally try to avoid fights in real life.

Enough for now.

Comment of Polyglot:

Not sure if I'm allowed to write here, but I promise I won't yell. :-) When I read this, I thought: wow, it must take a lot of courage to write this down and express these kinds of feelings. Don't worry --Stranger, I'm sure we all feel the way you do, at times. Being bold is a lot easier in a community like this one though, that's probably why I'm able to do so and feel good around here. On the other hand, there will always be people who are rowdy and try to offend. Don't let that bother you. It's easy to ignore them. Realize they have their own problems, but aren't able to express them in a way somebody feels like helping them. Anyway, keep up the good work! I think you are doing a fine job! Polyglot 22:36, 7 September 2005 (UTC)


 * Everyone is allowed to write here, as long as they don't yell. Support is appreciated.  I have been trying to build a thicker skin.  Takes time.
 * Being who I am, I often have to write. It's the way I express.  Anyway, other things to do right now.  I might be back here a little later though.  Enough for now. --Stranger 00:31, 8 September 2005 (UTC)