Wiktionary:Bad jokes and other deleted nonsense/Jolly Fun Pack

The Jolly Fun Pack is a way of giving gifts that can be quite irritating to some yet amusing to others. The main focus of a Jolly Fun Pack is give the victim (or recipient) as many items as you can. This large quantity of items can be achieved by either cleaning out a bedroom or closet before Christmas or the victim's birthday, or by going to local dollar stores. Remember, the main idea is to get a lot of stuff. Not much in particular, just stuff. If the Jolly Fun Pack is not intended to be incredibly harsh, then a main gift may be included in the slough of useless objects. To top off the Jolly Fun Pack, it is customary to wrap up the whole thing with a large quantity of tissue paper and then duct tape the wad so it looks like an oversized soiled diaper. For an accent, a balloon may be taped to the wad to call attention to the gift.

Here is an example of an ideal Jolly Fun Pack.


 * Tattoo removal form
 * Whistle
 * 62¢ (in pennies and nickels, strewn sporadically throughout the entire thing)
 * Water Gun
 * Several AA batteries (some can be dead)
 * Sandpaper
 * Golf Ball
 * Ripped sock
 * Empty deodorant canister
 * Roll of masking tape
 * $1 off McDonald's Quarter Pounder coupon
 * Package of 15 blank CDs (main gift, usually at center of jolly fun pack)
 * Stuffed animal
 * Some Legos
 * Stick of gum
 * Broken Pencil
 * Cookie in a baggie
 * Sponge
 * Empty tube of toothpaste (the appaling hygiene product)
 * Old crayon

The whole concept of the Jolly Fun Pack is simple to understand, but the joy of one is not attainable until one has been given to a victim.

Jolly Fun Packs tend to be the best if the following rules are obeyed.
 * 1) Do not use a large amount of paper. This gets annoying and causes the whole wad to lose interest.
 * 2) Use an array of sizes and shapes of objects. If all the objects are the same general shape, it will cause the Jolly Fun Pack to become boring.
 * 3) Use an array of uses of objects. If all the objects are the same general use, it will cause the Jolly Fun Pack to become boring.
 * 4) The total weight of the Jolly Fun Pack should be 5 to 10 pounds.
 * 5) The Jolly Fun Pack must contain one and only one appaling hygiene product, preferably a used tube of toothpaste, a toothbrush, half-used lip balm, etc.
 * 6) Make it jolly fun!

Once again, this Jolly Fun Pack idea may seem like a good thing to do, but the feeling of accomplishment will not well up inside until a "legal" one has been given.