Wiktionary:Christmas Competition 2009

Intro
This is to announce this year's Christmas competition, which is open to ALL contributors.

In keeping with Wiktionary tradition, this contest is completely unlike any previous competitions. Rather than a fast-paced dog-eat-dog mêlée like last year's event, the competition this year will depend on wit and cleverness of each individual.

Whose daft idea was this?
I blame British comedienne Catherine Tate, who introduced me to the mechanics of game play via the wonders of DVD commentary. She blames temporary assistant director Paul Bennett for setting her and countless others onto the game.

How it works
Each entry consists of a short conversation ending in a punchline. This is more easily explained by examples (these are Catherine Tate's):

Example 1:
 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm a Little Red Riding Hood impersonator.
 * How's it going?
 * It keeps the wolf from the door.

Example 2:
 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I've made a new teleport system.
 * How's it going?
 * It's touch-and-go.

Competition rules
Use the template (with subst: please) to add an entry to the top of the Entries section below. The template requires three parameters:
 * the description of your new business
 * the punchline
 * the point value for the entry

You will need to include your own punctuation for lines and. However, you will not need to sign your entry; the template will do that for you.

The punchline should be idiomatic and humorous. For the Christmas 2009 Competition, the punchline must include an idiomatic hyphenated word or a multi-word idiom or proverb. This word or idiom must have a well-formatted Wiktionary entry that is linked in the punchline. You may need to pipe the link
 * (e.g. keeps the wolf from the door )

for grammatical reasons to link to the idiom's lemma page.

Each idiomatic "word" may be used just once during competition. Once an entry has been submitted with a particular idiomatic expression, no one may use that particular expression for another entry. The idioms used in the Competition examples (above) also may not be used.

Entries need not use English for the business descriptions and punchline, but are accountable to the other rules and scoring limitations. All non-English entries in the competition require a parenthetical translation so that we'll all get the joke.

Scoring:
 * +5 pts for each entry
 * +10 pts if the page for the idiomatic expression in the punchline includes three (3) quotations satisfying WT:CFI policy
 * +10 pts if the page for the idiomatic expression in the punchline was created after 30 Nov 2009 (23:59:59 UTC)

Please remember to calculate your entry's score and include it as parameter when you submit.

24 February

 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * Je travaille au louchebem (I work at the butcher's)
 * How's it going?
 * Je gagne mon bifteck (I bring home the bacon...literally, I earn my beefsteak).
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun talk? 15:58, 24 February 2010 (UTC)

23rd December

 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I work at a poultry farm, splitting my time between quality control and hiring and firing.
 * How's it going?
 * So-so. I spend a lot of time dealing with bad eggs.
 *  15 pts. Pingku 14:49, 23 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I organise claques on Broadway, that I hire out to new shows.
 * How's it going?
 * Great! We're working like the clappers.
 *  25 pts. Pingku 12:07, 23 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm training snipers for the military.
 * How's it going?
 * One of the current bunch is the best I've seen, by a long shot.
 *  15 pts. Pingku 10:23, 23 December 2009 (UTC)

22nd December

 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I've started raising goats.
 * How's it going?
 * All kidding aside, I have sufficient capital to double the size of the herd by this time next year.
 *  15 pts. Pingku 17:14, 22 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I've taken over the Women's Clothing section of a department store.
 * How's it going?
 * I'm revamping the section to sell only those items that make the most profit. Soon it will be all fur coat and no knickers.
 *  15 pts. Pingku 15:11, 22 December 2009 (UTC)

21st December

 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm producing a hit TV series that involves attacking wild animals.
 * How's it going?
 * On reflection, I'm inclined to think that jumping the shark wasn't such a smart move.
 *  15 pts. Pingku 18:43, 21 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm doing a stand-up comedy show using very old material.
 * How's it going?
 * I've been accused of plagiarism - and I acknowledge the corn.
 *  15 pts. Pingku 15:41, 21 December 2009 (UTC)

19th December

 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm a porn star.
 * How's it going?
 * Not good. I totally suck cock.
 *  5 pts. Rising Sun talk? 19:33, 19 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I organise trips for gay men from the north of England.
 * How's it going?
 * Business is great. But my girlfriend complains that whenever she wants to talk, I'm away with the fairies.
 *  15 pts. Pingku 19:04, 19 December 2009 (UTC)

18th December

 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I help people settle their arguments.
 * How's it going?
 * It's simple. I seat them around a fireplace in a comfortable room, and provide drinks and whatever else will put them at ease. All I need do then is occasionally add fuel to the fire.
 *  15 pts. Pingku 18:22, 18 December 2009 (UTC)

17th December

 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm working with a sympathetic bunch of people who are looking for donors for organ transplants.
 * How's it going?
 * I'm beginning to have second thoughts about the extent to which they're after my own heart.
 *  15 pts. Pingku 13:36, 17 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm helping develop plans to protect German cities from attack.
 * How's it going?
 * So far we've perfected the Nuremberg defense.
 *  15 pts. Pingku 12:28, 17 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm a human enema.
 * How's it going?
 * Terrible, if you think of everything they put me through.
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun talk? 11:58, 17 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I run clandestine farting competitions.
 * How's it going?
 * So far, so good. Luckily, nobody's got wind of it yet.
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun talk? 11:46, 17 December 2009 (UTC)

16th December

 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I apply cosmetics to fish
 * How's it going?
 * Not great. The designs are all over the plaice
 *  5 pts. Rising Sun talk? 21:11, 16 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I make tight spandex clothing.
 * How's it going?
 * Good. But it was hard to get into.
 *  5 pts. Rising Sun talk? 21:09, 16 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I make filters
 * How's it going?
 * Great. Nothing gets past us
 *  so far, 0 pts. Rising Sun talk? 21:07, 16 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I competitively rip body parts off people.
 * How's it going?
 * Great. I hope to pull a head soon.
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun talk? 21:06, 16 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm a fisherman
 * How's it going?
 * Great. I pull in a lot.
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun talk? 21:03, 16 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm a palmist
 * How's it going?
 * Well, on the one hand, it's been great so far, but on the other hand the outlook is bleak.
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun talk? 19:50, 16 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I make stealth aircraft.
 * How's it going?
 * Not good. I'm afraid of dropping off the radar.
 *  25 pts. Rising Sun talk? 19:48, 16 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I write circular definitions for Wiktionary.
 * How's it going?
 * It's easy enough. I construct self-referential systems of descriptional statements, all the while studiously applying the dormitive principle.
 *  15 pts. Pingku 17:09, 16 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I throw parties for children and entertain them with bubble-gum.
 * How's it going?
 * It blew up in my face.
 *  15 pts. Pingku 15:01, 16 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I sell porno videos.
 * How's it going?
 * Just great. And before you ask, it's because you touch yourself at night.
 *  15 pts. Pingku 13:46, 16 December 2009 (UTC)

15th December

 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I travel round, reciting Hansel and Gretel.
 * How's it going?
 * same old story
 *  5 pts. Rising Sun talk? 22:49, 15 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm a taxidermist.
 * How's it going?
 * Not great. People tell be to get stuffed.
 *  5 pts. Rising Sun talk? 22:49, 15 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm a taxidermist.
 * How's it going?
 * Not great. I always stuff up the job.
 *  5 pts. Rising Sun talk? 22:49, 15 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I grow plants, extract the chlorophyll, and make dye products.
 * How's it going?
 * Not great, but I have developed a green thumb.
 *  15 pts. Pingku 17:09, 15 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm a hardcore porn actress.
 * How's it going?
 * Not good. I bust my ass for nothing.
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun talk? 15:07, 15 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm the owner of a toy shop.
 * How's it going?
 * Badly. I think I've lost my marbles.
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun talk? 14:57, 15 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * Je suis pom-pom girl
 * How's it going?
 * Pas bien. Je ne peux pas baisse les bras (not good. I can't lower my arms [give up])
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun talk? 14:54, 15 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I vandalise property.
 * How's it going?
 * Terribly, especially after my advisor told me to use my head if I want to avoid arrest. I had terrrible concussion.
 *  25 pts. Rising Sun talk? 14:49, 15 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I sell counterfit suncream.
 * How's it going?
 * Very badly. My customers have become red-faced
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun talk? 14:42, 15 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I sell refrigerators to Eskimos.
 * How's it going?
 * Lousy. It was just a bad joke.
 *  15 pts. Pingku 12:35, 15 December 2009 (UTC)

14th December

 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I measure angry women's feet for lace-up shoes.
 * How's it going?
 * Easy. I measure the feet, my partner makes the shoes, and when the customer comes back, they're fit to be tied.
 *  15 pts. Pingku 16:25, 14 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * Ich bin Taxifahrer. (I am a taxi driver)
 * How's it going?
 * Eigentlich OK, aber auf der Autobahn bin ich immer auf 180). (Normally OK, but on the highway I'm always at 180
 *  15 pts. Prince Kassad 15:22, 14 December 2009 (UTC)

11th December

 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I make small doors and gates.
 * How's it going?
 * I can't see any way to make a profit. We're on a losing wicket.
 *  25 pts. A LGRIF  talk  17:02, 11 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I've developed the best thing ever in the history of mankind, because I'm so awesome and everyone loves me...I am, of course, the inventor of the self-administering enema.
 * How's it going?
 * Not great. People say I'm up my own ass
 *  25 pts. Rising Sun talk? 12:46, 11 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I sell stuff to my neighbours
 * How's it going?
 * Great. It's just up my street
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun talk? 12:36, 11 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm a crop farmer
 * How's it going?
 * OK, but I have to plow on for ages.
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun talk? 12:09, 11 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I water gardens using my urine.
 * How's it going?
 * Great. I love pissing around
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun talk? 10:49, 11 December 2009 (UTC)

10th December

 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I spy on people suffering from rhinotillexomania, using a not-very-clear telescope.
 * How's it going?
 * Not great. Some of them are hard to pick out
 *  25 pts. Rising Sun talk? 22:38, 10 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm not sure. But there are a lot of tent-like things made of some kind of spaghetti or something, and I'm supposed to fix them to the ground or something or other.
 * How's it going?
 * Well, the work is hard to peg down
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun talk? 21:41, 10 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I employ 100-year olds to hang up washing
 * How's it going?
 * Not great. The staff always peg out
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun talk? 21:28, 10 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm a part-time lightbulb (but not one of those fancy ones with a dimmer)
 * How's it going?
 * OK. I work on and off
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun talk? 20:27, 10 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm the producer for Pimp my Amish Ride
 * How's it going?
 * Good. We paint the wagon
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun talk? 20:25, 10 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I make mittens for little children.
 * How's it going?
 * We're experiencing some difficulties. I have to handle everything with kid gloves.
 *  5 pts. A LGRIF  talk  18:58, 10 December 2009 (UTC)

9th December

 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I repair clothes.
 * How's it going?
 * Not great, but I hope to patch things up soon.
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun talk? 20:44, 9 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I make living room furniture.
 * How's it going?
 * sofa so good.
 *  5 pts. A LGRIF  talk  12:48, 9 December 2009 (UTC)

8th December

 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * Je suis prostituée pour les nains décédés (I'm a prostitute for dead midgets).
 * How's it going?
 * C'est plein de petite morts (it's full of little deaths [orgasms])
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun talk? 16:52, 8 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm a butcher
 * How's it going?
 * Not good. I'm thinking of chucking in it
 *  25 pts. Rising Sun talk? 10:38, 8 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I sell tardis-esque luggage.
 * How's it going?
 * OK at the moment. I can always pack it in if it gets difficult though.
 *  25 pts. Rising Sun talk? 10:36, 8 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * Je vends des produits de bain (I sell bath products)
 * How's it going?
 * Je veux jeter l'éponge (I want to throw the sponge)
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun talk? 10:32, 8 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * J'organise des excursions en Bolivie. (I organise trips in Bolivia)
 * How's it going?
 * ce n'est pas le Pérou (it's not Peru)
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun talk? 10:21, 8 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * Je vends des fruits, et j'en suis super (I sell fruits, and I'm great at it)
 * How's it going?
 * Bien. Mais on dit que J'ai le melon (well, but I'm told that I have the melon)
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun talk? 10:16, 8 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I mine using wireless technology
 * How's it going?
 * It's ground-breaking stuff.
 *  5 pts. Rising Sun talk? 10:09, 8 December 2009 (UTC)

7th December

 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * Я лесничий. (I am a forester).
 * How's it going?
 * Плохо. Я в трёх соснах заблудился. (Bad. I got lost in three pines)
 * 15 pts. The uſer hight Bogorm converſation 18:49, 7 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm a transplant surgeon.
 * How's it going?
 * Actually, I think I'll get out of it. I'm having a change of heart.
 * 5 pts. &#x200b;— msh210 ℠ 18:19, 7 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm a consultant, helping companies decide whether their plans are good. But I always wind up agreeing with them, grudgingly.
 * How's it going?
 * Very well.
 * 5 pts. &#x200b;— msh210 ℠ 18:18, 7 December 2009 (UTC)

6th December

 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * Soy un agente de viaje. (I am a travel agent.)
 * How's it going?
 * Conmigo, saliste de Guatemala y te metiste en Guatapeor. (With me, you left Guatemala and ended up in Guatepeor. It is a play on the word Guatemala which can be translated as Guate-bad and therefore Guate-peor is Guate-worse.)
 * 15 pts. L&#9786;g&#9786;maniac ☃ 02:24, 6 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * Manejo un elevador de granos. (I manage a grain elevator.)
 * How's it going?
 * Ven a ver alrededor de este lugar conmigo. Véase allí: eso es harina de otro costal. (Come look around this place with me.  See here: that is wheat from a different sack.)
 * 25 pts. L&#9786;g&#9786;maniac ☃ 01:54, 6 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm maintaining a bat colony.
 * How's it going?
 * The bats are rolling along: the economic downturn doesn't make them bat an eyelid.
 * 15 pts.  AugPi 01:34, 6 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I slice meats in the local deli.
 * How's it going?
 * I think I'll have to find a new job. I just can't cut it.
 * 5 pts. L&#9786;g&#9786;maniac ☃ 01:29, 6 December 2009 (UTC)

4th December

 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I've converted an abandoned military firing range into a parkour course.
 * How's it going?
 * My venture is jumping the gun.
 *  5 pts. EncycloPetey 06:40, 5 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I keep going back in time to prehistoric days to teach them how to do basic stuff that we all take for granted.
 * How's it going?
 * Not so well: I keep having to reinvent the wheel.
 * 5 pts. &#x200b;— msh210 ℠ 20:33, 4 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I build intercity freeways.
 * How's it going?
 * Not well at all. As they say; it's a long road that has no earning.
 *  15 pts. A LGRIF  talk  13:07, 4 December 2009 (UTC)

3rd December

 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * Hago huevos de Pascua. (I make Easter eggs.)
 * How's it going?
 * Ahora estoy haciendo los huevos estrellados. (Right now I am making starred eggs.)
 * 25 pts. L&#9786;g&#9786;maniac chat? 18:57, 3 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * Soy una cocinera. (I'm a cook.)
 * How's it going?
 * Meto mi cuchara todo el día. (I put in my spoon all day.)
 * 25 pts. L&#9786;g&#9786;maniac chat? 17:31, 3 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm a jeweler
 * How's it going?
 * I strike gold daily!
 *  25 pts. Conrad.Irwin 15:54, 3 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm converting disused monasteries and other assorted religious buildings into rodent farms.
 * How's it going?
 * Not at all well, I'm afraid. I'm as poor as a church mouse.
 *  15 pts. A LGRIF  talk  15:43, 3 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * Ich bin im Orchester. (I am in an orchestra)
 * How's it going?
 * Ich spiele die zweite Geige. (I play the second violin)
 *  15 pts. Prince Kassad 15:04, 3 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * 训练狗的学校 ("Dog training school.")
 * How's it going?
 * 狗改不了吃屎 ("You can't stop a dog eating its own shit.")
 * 5 pts. Tooironic 10:19, 3 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm teaching winter sports to the denizens of the stygian depths.
 * How's it going?
 * Actually, I don't think I've got a snowball's chance in hell.
 *  5 pts. A LGRIF </i ><font color="#FFD700"> talk  10:02, 3 December 2009 (UTC)

2nd December

 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm at the National Spelling Bee.
 * How's it going?
 * I forgot to take a drink before I got onstage, so this round my word might be a dry spell.
 * 15 pts. L&#9786;g&#9786;maniac chat? 23:11, 2 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I work as a temp, carrying pollen from flower to flower.
 * How's it going?
 * Oh, I'm just spelling bees.
 * 5 pts. &#x200b;— msh210 ℠ 22:46, 2 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm a novelist.
 * How's it going?
 * A good beginning makes a good ending.
 * 5 pts. &#x200b;— msh210 ℠ 22:29, 2 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I'm Mick Jagger
 * How's it going?
 * Well, a rolling stone gathers no moss.
 *  5 pts. Mutante 22:23, 2 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * Jeg kutter løk (I cut onions)
 * How's it going?
 * Det går så det griner (It goes well, literally “it goes in such a way that there's weeping”)
 *  15 pts. Kåre-Olav 19:21, 2 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I give tramps the chance to pretend to be professional washer-uppers, wearing smart clothes.
 * How's it going?
 * OK. They scrub up well.
 *  15 pts. Rising Sun 14:33, 2 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I have installed a series of woody biological structures to use photosynthesis to convert sunlight directly into currency.
 * How's it going?
 * Useless. It seems that money doesn't grow on trees.
 * 15 pts. SemperBlotto 14:09, 2 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I make flash swimming pools inside shops.
 * How's it going?
 * Not great, but we're making waves in the market
 *  5 pts. Rising Sun 13:57, 2 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I apply cosmetics to a vehicle at the same time as driving it.
 * How's it going?
 * Not great. I've never done this before, so I'm making it up as I go along
 *  5 pts. Rising Sun 13:54, 2 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I dry grass. At least, I will be until summer is over
 * How's it going?
 * Great. You know what they say: make hay while the sun shines
 *  5 pts. Rising Sun 13:47, 2 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I train Olympic divers.
 * How's it going?
 * It's making a splash
 * 5 pts. Rising Sun 13:43, 2 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I organise naked bathing holidays
 * How's it going?
 * Great. It's a lucky dip
 *  5 pts. Rising Sun 13:42, 2 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * Well, I've designed this new MMORPG, where you have to squirt other players with piss.
 * How's it going?
 * Great. It's very popular. One must look out for number one
 *  5 pts. Rising Sun 13:38, 2 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I design parks.
 * How's it going?
 * It's swings and roundabouts really.
 *  5 pts. Rising Sun 13:33, 2 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I've bought a bakery.
 * How's it going?
 * Great. The products are selling like hot cakes
 *  5 pts. Rising Sun 13:31, 2 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I've made an improved version of Monopoly.
 * How's it going?
 * I guess I'm taking a chance.
 *  15 pts. <i>A LGRIF </i ><font color="#FFD700"> talk  11:14, 2 December 2009 (UTC)

Never mind this one, I now see that Conrad used "plain sailing" below, which seems to be the British version of the same idiom. —Ruakh <i >TALK</i > 05:23, 2 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I drive people to Man.
 * How's it going?
 * Well, I've learned something. I now know Man is an island.
 *  15 pts. —Ruakh <i >TALK</i > 05:18, 2 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I make headgear out of pleather.
 * How's it going?
 * Perfect: it's all hat and no cattle.
 *  15 pts. —Ruakh <i >TALK</i > 05:18, 2 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I build hovercraft.
 * How's it going?
 * I can't seem to get it off the ground.
 *  15 pts. —Ruakh <i >TALK</i > 05:18, 2 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I've got a new business.
 * What's your business?
 * I sell guns to statues, for self-defense against pigeons.
 * How's it going?
 * It's a crap-shoot.
 *  15 pts. —Ruakh <i >TALK</i > 05:18, 2 December 2009 (UTC)

Results

 * The contest closes at the end of 25 December (23:59:59 UTC). The results will be posted after the close of the contest.


 * 1) User:Rising Sun is the winner. I'm going to make the next competition. I've got an idea already. --Rising Sun talk? 23:46, 4 February 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) User:Pingku is the runner-up


 * I assume I'm the winner of this. Unless, of course, my puns don't stand up to EP's standards. --Rising Sun talk? 10:04, 29 December 2009 (UTC)


 * Doubtless we have both been disqualified on the basis of atrocities rendered to the English language. I plead the fifth. Pingku 19:04, 29 December 2009 (UTC)


 * Atrocities? Humph! The Dec 10 puns I made are among the wittiest word plays ever made - clear, snappy, ingenious. I guess, however, there is no prize anyway. But I've had an idea of an Easter competition. I'll put it past EP. If I win, and I must write the next competition, anyway. ANyway, there;ll be lots of fun quotes and new definitions to be added in any case. --Rising Sun talk? 09:58, 30 December 2009 (UTC)

Talk

 * You may argue about the rules here (and nowhere else please). --EncycloPetey 06:51, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

If we add cites for a previously uncited term, can we claim the 10pts that the original author didn't by using the expression in a new joke? Conrad.Irwin 10:28, 29 November 2009 (UTC)
 * No, the points for citations only count toward the score of the person who submitted the idiom is his/her punchline. You may still freely add citations in the spirit of the season, of course. --EncycloPetey 15:34, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

Is there a limit to the number of entries per day per person? 50 Xylophone Players talk 15:58, 29 November 2009 (UTC)
 * Nope. None at all.  Part of the Christmas Competition tradition is to encourage Wiktionary growth.  The way things are looking on this first day, we may even have to use subheaders by date. :) --EncycloPetey 16:01, 29 November 2009 (UTC)
 * Heh, ok ^_^ 50 Xylophone Players talk 16:05, 29 November 2009 (UTC)
 * And subpages? Please? This page is getting long and tough to load for those of us on slow computers. L&#9786;g&#9786;maniac chat? 20:40, 4 December 2009 (UTC)
 * That was the plan, yes, if the page grew long (and it has). --EncycloPetey 03:06, 5 December 2009 (UTC)
 * We had limitations last year only because of the way play proceded off the submissions of other participants. Since entries this year are self-contained, no daily limit to participation is imposed this time around. --EncycloPetey 16:17, 29 November 2009 (UTC)
 * Why not use the actual talk page? Mglovesfun (talk) 18:15, 29 November 2009 (UTC)
 * This area is for arguing about the rules, not talking! --Rising Sun 18:30, 29 November 2009 (UTC)

Y'know, this certainly reminded me of an email that we got quite a while ago. Found it online here. I promise not to use any of these :) L&#9786;g&#9786;maniac chat? 22:15, 29 November 2009 (UTC)
 * Why does the entry have to be created after the 30th to get the extra 10 pts? < class="latinx">Ƿidsiþ</> 18:46, 29 November 2009 (UTC)
 * Ah yeah, that sucks. I'll leave some red links in today's entries. --Rising Sun 18:50, 29 November 2009 (UTC)
 * So let's nobody create the red-linked pages, OK. Or I'll delete them. --Rising Sun 19:00, 29 November 2009 (UTC)
 * D'accord, but why one link is changes hand, when change hands is extant? Are you planning to create it after 30th November? In this case, I could have procrastinated the creation of считать галок as well... Alas, to what avail is this rule about the idiom being created after 30th November? The uſer hight Bogorm converſation 19:25, 29 November 2009 (UTC)
 * The idea was to allow some lower point early creations to get things rolling, then to have additional point possibilities open up once we're actually in December. I have in mind the possible addition of further point-scoring rules (not retroactive) as the competition progresses, just to keep things interesting.  No, don't suggest things.  I've already got a full set of ideas to use, if that should come to pass. --EncycloPetey 19:53, 29 November 2009 (UTC)
 * Maybe a rule about getting points for translating the joke into as many languages as possible. And no, I'm not suggesting things as such. --Rising Sun 20:47, 29 November 2009 (UTC)
 * Not having realized the date wasn't past, I did the full work to create an entry for the extra 10. I see I'm not alone. Things are already rolling, I'd say. Would it not make sense to allow people to start getting these points? —Leftmostcat 02:16, 30 November 2009 (UTC)

Don't the entries have to exist before they are used here? (cough) Rising Sun (cough)? Conrad.Irwin 02:11, 30 November 2009 (UTC)
 * In time, young Conrad, the page will be full to the brim (ooh, I could use that) of many of my newly-created blue links. --Rising Sun 10:54, 30 November 2009 (UTC)
 * Hrm, so that means that if I cite an entry on this page already, the author of the joke gets more points? Doesn't sound very fair. Conrad.Irwin 14:16, 30 November 2009 (UTC)
 * Are bots allowed to play this? I'm retraining mine to a) come up with punny jokes and b) if that proves too difficult, to post my jokes. --Rising Sun 10:57, 30 November 2009 (UTC)
 * I would be inclined to call that foul play ;-) 50 Xylophone Players talk 13:57, 30 November 2009 (UTC)
 * Sure, go for it - but I think we should disqaulify those for which there is no humour (there's only one above I don't see the joke, "quids in"?) Conrad.Irwin 14:16, 30 November 2009 (UTC)
 * See quid. &#x200b;— msh210 ℠ 00:10, 1 December 2009 (UTC)


 * I suck. Can someone please fix my script? It's the Chinese one about dogs eating shit. Sigh. Tooironic 11:00, 3 December 2009 (UTC)